Sunday, August 31, 2014

And then I threw away her mask

It's been just over two weeks since I had my gall bladder removed. I am healing nicely. The two weeks coincided with the start of my chemo and radiation treatments. I was supposed to start last Monday but encountered trouble with the Specialty Pharmacy that my insurance uses for chemo. Because my chemo is administered by pills I had to order them myself. It seems a little crazy. It has to do with the insurance getting to charge me more for the pills. Anyway, that's done and I have had two days of treatments. 

The effects of the chemo are slowly making themselves apparent. I am more tired and my stomach is a little more queasy, similar to the way it felt after my surgery. This 3 day weekend should give me a chance to rest up since treatments won't start again till Tuesday. I only take the chemo on the days I get radiation which will be Monday through Friday on regular weeks.

The first radiation treatment was surreal. I found myself thinking about what it must have been like for Vicki when she had hers. Because the cancer was in her head they made a form fitting mask and locked her head in place. It freaked her out so much she had  to take Valium for each of her thirty treatments. I didn't understand until that moment what she had gone through. Now I know. 

It feels so strange when the machine makes it's beeping noises while the radiation is being directed into your body. You have to be perfectly still. After all, you don't want the deadly beams going astray and frying your naughty bits. So, understanding how she felt and still feels about the mask I saved to someday make a wall plaque of her face, I threw it away.

The last thing she needs to recall is the strange feelings and anxiety associated with cancer radiation treatment.

I have 26 more treatments to go.


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