Saturday, January 20, 2018

Wednesday's Appointments

So.... I met with my oncologist and my pulmonary doctor on Wednesday. My first appointment was with the oncologist. He suggested 3 options including stopping treatment altogether. I chose another clinical trial. I just wanted to get my lung issued taken care of first. We left if like that till I met with pulmonary doctor at my next appointment.

The pulmonary doc was great, but I got a not so good surprise. After x-rays and some other tests it was determined that my Pleurex catheter was clogged and I still had fluid in my lungs causing shortness of breath. They managed to get me scheduled the same day for removing the catheter (which I really wanted out). I had been draining every 4 days and getting nothing, so it had to go.

The procedure to remove the catheter is done without anesthetic, just topical numbing like at the dentist office. It is a little freaky because they literally yank the thing out of you, no kidding. It doesn't really hurt, but when that thing comes flying out of you it's a little troubling.

All went well and we were home by 4 PM. We started at 9 AM so it was a long tiring day at the hospital. I am always impressed with the way Mayo operates. The doctor went out of his way and rescheduled his day to accommodate me and get it done in one trip. I am very appreciative of that and told him so.

I did tease him a little bit though, referring to myself as his patient zero since he had been dealing with me since 9:40 in the morning and we were just getting out of the operating room at 3. That's a long time for a doctor to spend with one patient.

The bad news in all this is that I still have fluid compressing my lung. We'll see what happens next. In the meantime I should start on the clinical trial in the next week or two.

That's it for now.

Here's this weeks contribution to my "New Normal".


Explanations

Explain to me again why you’re leaving 
she asked with a curious sigh
I can be happy with only you
If that’s what it takes to get by

No, my own desires and faithlessness
match your whims for sexual play
I can’t keep up with the roster
of who’s on who today

It’s nice that they find you attractive
and experienced and oh so sly
If ever your talent for business wanes
as a courtesan you’d get by

And I the trailer park gigolo
hoping from bed to bed
a sad little cheating jerk of a man
lucky now not to be dead

We sated our passion time and again
experimented with oils and scents
came together like snakes and wolves
then slunk out the back through the fence

I wanted romance and mad passion too
yet it turned out so cheap in the end
without some trust and kindness there
it’s not in the cards to be friends

We’re left just with scars and bruises
both on our bodies and minds
nothing explains how we got this way
I didn’t pick up on the signs

So yea, I guess I’m leaving
Better gone than standing here
with the shame of disappointment

betrayal, lies and fear

Friday, January 12, 2018

The New Year is getting interesting

I haven't posted in a couple of weeks due to laziness. During this period I had an appointment with the VA to review my compensation for Agent Orange. What will come of that I don't know.

My participation in a research study for Veterans with terminal cancer continued. My nurse came out to the house twice and we finished sections 3 and 4 of the 7 part program. It is helping. The whole purpose of the study is to help me find meaning in my life in its final stage.

My next appointments at Mayo are with the pulmonary department to see if I can get the Pleurex Catheter removed and with my Oncologist to determine my next course of treatment. According to what comes out of these appointments I will know more of what comes next.

In the meantime the new Medicare RX plan I signed up for has denied my pain killer medication. It seems you just can't win with Medicare Drug plans.

That's it for now.

Here's this weeks' contribution to the "New Normal".

Every Now & Then

Every now and then a feeling comes my way
That takes me back to a place & time
I would have loved to stay

Romantic were those days
my spirit always hot
and I in search of love and life
confounded by others not

Oh lovely Fredericksburg 
In winter clear and cold
The “Natural Child” that coffee shop
Where Hippies go we’re told

And Katherine and Linda 
And Christian and Arlene
My heart was broke a hundred times
And healed and then made clean

By Folk songs sung by friends of mine
About the world we knew
And war and change and love of course
Though our experiences were few

Midnight walks through college grounds
ignoring the winter chill
a sly embrace at dorm room’s door
Enjoying the forbidden thrill

A ride through town in VW Bus
named with humor Thor
bubbles streaming out the windows
of the bus’s door

brightly patched bell bottoms
nestling on sweet hips
Embroidered shirts of Chambray 
Unlipsticked and unglossed lips

The smell of patchouli and clean young bodies 
smiles winsome and willing without guile
a toke and a bit of Hendrix
An adventure for a while

The year was nineteen-seventy-one
When boys turned into men
I miss the feeling of that time

Every now and then

Hang in there, 

RT