Saturday, May 2, 2009

Wordzzle 61 - Come on Lucky 7!

If you don't know Raven then ya don't know word one about Wordzzle.

First this week, I need to do some repairs and house keeping. Thanks to a recent commenter, Stephen from Phoenix, I was made aware of contextual inconsistencies in the placement of one of my characters.

MIA CULPA ... My apologies to all for this evidence of my ineffective and shoddy research. The issue was the placement of Charlotte in French Guiana. Or more correctly, the placement of French Guiana on the wrong continent. The country is in South America and not on the African continent. In this it seems that George Bush and I have something in common. Neither of us knows shit about geography.

The narrative has been corrected in back episodes, even to changing the sentence using Tiger. My observant reader Stephen pointed out that Tigers are natives to Asia and not South America, where of course French Guiana really is. I actually knew this, but by having the country on the wrong continent, I screwed that up too.

I like to think I keep it real at the Bloggerhood when writing these stories, so I take seriously these comments and criticisms. Thanks Stephen for taking the time and effort to help me make my stories better.

Now, on with the show.

This Week's Ten Word Challenge: translation, crunchy, cat’s paw, trunk, I love raspberry tarts, global warming, star struck, the midnight ride of Paul Revere, fragile, Spring fever

Mini Challenge: pancakes and syrup, flat tire, mongoose, this place looks like a bordello, first dance

This weeks Episode: Riverside Revelry

From a back office of the FBI building in D.C. a file was making its way to the desk of the assistant to the director. This file concerned massive mortgage fraud in the central California valley. It was placed in his secretary's inbox by the weekend messenger. The assistant to the director was on a short vacation and wouldn't see the file till he came back.

The group of Dan & Carla and McCool & Jean decided a good meal at the Condo in Bullhead was a perfect way to blow off some steam and get to know each other better. McCool talked some with Dan about the transition from HVAC back to criminal investigation, while Jean gave Carla the tour of the Condo. They had rented it because of the river view, but Jean couldn't help but tell Carla, when they came to the master bedroom; "this place looks like a bordello."

After the ladies finished the tour the group sat down to eat on the deck overlooking the Colorado River. They started the meal with authentic crunchy tortilla chips with homemade Salsa and washed it down with cold beer. A few tacos later and they were thinking about how they overate and how to make room for dessert. Jean announced that tonight's coupe de Grasse would be tarts. "Oh, I hope they're raspberry" smiled McCool, "I love raspberry tarts."

"That reminds me" Jean said with a gleam in her eye. "When I met you I believe you just plain liked tarts." "Are you besmirching the reputations of my old girlfriends?" he asked. "No need" she replied, "They did that themselves." "OK, let's not forget how we met and our first dance" he countered. "I remember I didn't jump into your bed the first time we met like your other girlfriends" she smirked back at him.

"How about another "Flat tire", I mean "Fat Tire" Dan?" "It's pretty damn good beer isn't it?" McCool said to change the subject. "Sounds like you got him flustered" Carla quipped to Jean. "I think I was star struck by Thomas from the start, but I never let him know it" she added. "And it worked out for the best, just look at us now." "Twenty eight years later and still going strong" she finished.

Dan went to the trunk of his car for his guitar and the two men set up on the deck to play some old Dylan tunes. After a few songs like "Just like a woman", "Rainy day blues" and "Like a rolling stone", they changed artists and attempted an old Smokey Joe tune entitled "The midnight ride of Paul Revere." The song’s lyrics drifted out over the calm river with nothing but an occasional cat's paw to disturb the gently flowing waters, if you didn't count the frequent discordant notes.

The two men changed from the excellent Fat Tire beer to whiskey and cigars. Dan put his Takamine back in the trunk feeling it was a bit too fragile for the kind of playing they would be doing later. Instead he borrowed Thomas's trusty old Fender Mongoose with the travel amp and they settled in for some blues.
"Looks like those two have a case of spring fever" Carla commented to Jean. "Don't worry about them, they're just blowing off steam" Jean replied.

About that time Jean's cell phone rang and she excused herself to take the call from her sister Lara. "Hey Sis, how's Laughlin?" Lara asked first thing. "OK," Jean answered, "but we're not winning big at the Casinos if that's what you called for" she teased. "What, you don't think I called to give you the latest update on global warming, or some crap like that?" her sister teased back. "After all, we live in a fragile ecosphere" she added.
"I'm pretty sure it isn't that" Jean answered. "You're right again Sis." "You might want to check your e-mails though, cause what I sent you is gonna blow your mind" Lara said mysteriously. "What's up girl, just spill it" Jean shot back. "No way Jean, look at your e-mail and then thank me later, Oh, and tell your husband he owes me a beer" Lara said as she rung off.

Jean and Carla went out on to the deck to get Thomas to fire up his laptop. They all trouped into the kitchen, turned on the computer and waited for it to open up the e-mail. Lara's e-mail was short and succinct. It contained two pictures and the following message. "Looks like her to me." Below that one line was a picture of the deceased Connie Liplin and the girl known by Lara and Jean as that poor thing that got gang raped, Constance Lawler. The picture of Connie Liplin looked older, but it otherwise they were identical.

The truly telltale sign was the eyes. They were startling, a rare off-emerald in color and unlike any the group had seen before.
Dan looked at Thomas, then at Jean, and last at Carla. "You thinking what I'm thinking?" he asked the group. "Maybe we should put a call in to Sgt Johnson tonight about this" McCool offered.

The two couples studied the pictures and discussed the possibilities for the next hour or so. Jean thought it possible that the young Constance had changed her name to forget the incident and Carla agreed that was possible. The two men with their law enforcement backgrounds were somewhat more cynical in their considerations.
If nothing else it would perhaps help them positively identify the woman in the Tahoe and move on from there. Since it was getting late and the group was a little woozy from food and drink, Jean put Dan & Carla up in the guestroom, with the promise of pancakes and syrup for breakfast in the morning. Everyone went to bed with their own ideas about this new revelation.

Meanwhile, 6000 miles away in France, Inspector Georges De Solemaone looked carefully at the file his agent had written on the woman Cathy McCarty. She had been identified as being at the beach on the night of the murder of the young Swedish girl. The trail had gone cold in South Africa, but the agent had followed a hunch and went to French Guiana. But what he found there was inconsistent with the evidence. The closest thing to the woman Cathy McCarty was a reclusive French noblewoman who looked nothing like the McCarty woman. The inspector would now have to explain to his superior why he authorized the flights and the extra expense.

But the lady Charlotte had been incognito for some time. And the agent was unable to determine when and how she arrived in French Guiana. Was this enough to go on? First he'd have the Surrete do a workup on this Charlotte Vignoire. Surely, if she was from the old money she seemed to be there would be a record on her and her family. He hurriedly sent the memo and got up to leave for home. Tomorrow would be soon enough to decide what to look at next.

Forensic pathologist Cindy Lerner liked her job. She took her position with the Nevada State Police very seriously. When she needed to do extra research to find out the answer to something she just did it. In this case the research was almost too easy. Before switching to Bio-Sciences, Cindy had been a math geek. Not just any math geek either. She won the prestigious Stonehenge award her last year in high school. This included a pendant shaped like the famous Lozenge Calendar. So when an identical pendant came in that was purportedly found with a now missing skeleton in the desert, she knew right away what to do.

Each years' pendant had been marked with month, day and year it was awarded. By using her magnifying glass and simple translation she determined the year it was given. A few phone calls later and she knew the owner's name; Edward Darion Jamison III. He had received the award his senior year of high school in 1989. The info she pulled up on him listed his employer as Central Valley Real Estate Investors in L.A. Cindy printed out copies and placed them in the John Doe file. By Monday morning this case might have a name. It was up to the detective bureau to coordinate with the California cops from here on in.



quilldancer said...

Somebody always catches the errors, but like you, I appreciate getting caught -- then I can make my offering even better.

I am very engrossed in this story and would very much like longer episodes -- like say finishing the whole thing tonight?

Thom said...

I too appreciate corrections. The saga continues :)

Akelamalu said...

To be honest I read these for fun and couldn't care less about errors.

You're gonna put this saga all together and publish when it's finished right? You should - especially as you're taking the time and trouble to correct things! :)

Dr.John said...

Since I have no idea where anything is in the house yet alone in the world I never noticed the " mistakes". On the other hand writers are free to create their own universe and if they want to move a country I say let them.
What is important to me is the story and the writing and you weve a great story and the writing is great.

Ordinarily Just Me said...

I was not expecting to get hooked into another story but I now am. I look forward to reading more and exploring your blog. You are a great writer.
Also, I kinda agree with Dr. John

Lu' said...

My favorite sentence, The song’s lyrics drifted out over the calm river with nothing but an occasional cat's paw to disturb the gently flowing waters, if you didn't count the frequent discordant notes. Good job :)

bettygram said...

I understand that you would want to correct your errors, but for myself I did not know there were any. I am with quilldancer i want the conclusion now because I have trouble waiting a week.

Raven said...

Ha! Good for the corrections. I have to admit that I get so engaged in the story that I don't worry about details like that. Today's episode was wonderful as always. Love the way you got rid of flat tire. I had a tough time with that one. Already looking forward to next week's episode.

Dianne said...

apologies for not commenting last week, I had to catch up on the weeks I had missed and I got boondoggled - which is probably an incorrect use of the word ;)

don't ever compare anything about you to Bushie

He didn't know there were continents so how could he put a country on the wrong one.

I'm with Akelamalu - I don't care about geographical details and I'm with Dr John, writers can create their own worlds

But if you're going to publish - and you better - then I suppose it's a good idea to put the FG back where it belongs :)

Richard said...

Quilly: I am glad you're enjoying, but this thing has a ways to go yet to the end.

Thom: I read your story on your blog but was not smart enough to understand how to use your comment system. Do you have a non-techie version available?

Akelamalu: So you're having fun huh? Good on ya.

Dr John: Thanks man, I was very impressed with your offering this week.

OJM: I enjoyed your blog and your story; thanks for coming by today.

LU: So you've heard my play then?

Betty: Thanks, but not much instant gratification here. This story has some more to go.

Raven: One of the advantages of being a fan of good beer.

Dianne: Not this story, but maybe some day, a story or two.

Thanks to all for coming by and commenting this week.


Fandango said...

we are late but you did leave us a comment and so here we are.
You write well but long. Dragons tire easy. They let us eat raspberry tarts but not them other kind of tarts which taste better.
You have a villain we wouldn't mind eating.
You just write so well.